//Short story : ALL THE RIGHT MARKS, IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES



Tonight, the artist is in his studio alone. He sits slouched in his chair, elbow resting uncomfortably on the arm, the upholstery worn to the bone, his fist pressing into his cheek.

He stares up at the row of large charcoal drawings he’s pinned to the wall. He studies them, scrutinising every thick, energetic, arching line, every frenetic scribble, every pressing scrawl. He’s looking for something, but he doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t even know if he’d recognise it if he saw it. But he knows there’s a chance it’s there, hidden, waiting for him to find.

He grips tight on the charcoal stick in his hand, black dust crumbles onto his trousers.

Rubbing his other sweaty hand on his trouser leg, leaving five smudgy black lines down his thigh, he shifts in his seat. He’s not seeing it, not in these pictures. None of them remotely show a trace of it, the thing he’s spent years of his life trying to capture.

The shows, the galleries, the buyers, all of them were just a means to an end. He hasn’t had a show in almost a year.

It’s been like trying to remember the details of a dream after waking. It’s elusive and ethereal. He doesn’t want to manipulate the memory with his interpretation, he just wants to channel it through his body, to let his muscles remember the vision.

But today he could have sworn he felt closer to it. He was sure he’d glimpsed it, but then again that’s how he feels most days.


He knows the thing he’s striving for is universal. When he sees it, it’ll change everything, paradigms will shift from it. When it reveals itself to him he will unlock the secrets of the universe. It won’t be quantifiable , you won’t be able to measure it in numbers, it’ll be a truth that surpasses mathematics, that only some special part of us, separate from
the brain and body, but part us all the same, maybe the soul, but he doesn’t want to put a name to it, only that part will understand it.

Turning, he picks up his packet of cigarettes from the long table littered with sheets of drawings and broken
charcoal sticks. He places a cigarette between his lips, pads himself down, where did he put his lighter? He rifles through the pile of drawings on the table, looks around the studio but all he sees is half finished canvases leant against the walls, easels with works in progress, he realises all of this, all of what he sees, this is his legacy. This work, it’ll survive a lot longer than he will. He thinks it’s funny how people spend more time and money preserving art, inanimate objects, than they do trying to preserve their own lives.

There it is, his Zippo lighter, tucked precariously on the little brown ledge of the easel of painting No.803.

He needs to come up with better names for his artwork, that’s what his dealer keeps telling him. His dealer says this is why he’s having trouble selling them, he needs to be more poetic. His dealer doesn’t understand he doesn’t see his paintings as works of art in their own right. They are experiments. Attempts at striving for that perfect piece. Once he achieves that, he will name it, or try to name it, he can’t promise anything, it may not be up to him.

He lights his cigarette, inhaling and watching the end glow and burn towards him.

The painting he’s been working on for the past week is a commission, for some businessman, up town, some stooge with a corner office. His dealer at the gallery begged him to take it. He’s willing to pay a lot of money she said, it’ll keep him going until things pick up.

He paces up and down, from one end of his studio to the other.

The Artist, he hates the business side of things, he thinks how shallow it is. He thinks about the businessman. He thinks about his painting hanging in his corner office. He thinks how it’ll just end up as some conversation piece.

Hey, look at this painting I bought, see how rich and cultured I am, aren’t you impressed?

That stooge will never get it, he’ll never understand what he’s really trying to do. Maybe no one ever will. He can
barely understand it himself, it’s why he does it, to try to understand, to find it and just marvel at it.

Moving to the large window at the back of his studio, he rests his elbows on the windowsill and blows a cloud of smoke out into the night, listening to the peeling of tires on the wet tarmac from the street below. The city beeps and barks at him, sirens fade out into the distance. He imagines those stooges in their suits scrambling around in their skyscrapers like termites.

He’s so close to it, closer than he has ever been.

Looking above the concrete mounds to the stars above. The sky is infiltrated with an orange aura, spoiling the vast blackness. If only he could replicate that hue. That mysterious black of the night, the deep black of space.
Yes. That is what he must do. That black might be the key that will unlock reality, at least that’s what he hopes.

Flicking what is left of his cigarette and watching it briefly as it cascades through the air in a fiery streak. He
hurries to a collection of large, blank canvases leant against the wall. He grabs one, lifting it easily off the ground, it should be as heavy as it looks but it is not. He positions it attentively onto an empty easel, the void of whiteness towering over him. He collects up his paints and begins squeezing them out onto his palette.

Scooping up a lump of Hansa yellow light with his palette knife, he spreads it into Napthol Red, then he slaps in a splodge of Ultramarine blue blending them together. No. Its not right. He counters with a slab of Phthalo Blue, and adds Alizarin Crimson and Cadmium Yellow Deep. He thins out his mixture with some spirits. He whirls the palette knife through the viscous pigments until a bottomless, dark void appears on his palette. Perfect. He flicks through the collection of brushes poking from the empty jam jar on the drawing table next to him. He plucks a large, flat hog hair out. He loads up his brush and with a sharp flick of his arm he tears a black line across the canvas. Taking a step back and tipping his head to one side he calculates his next strike. He lunges forward, whipping the brush up in a semi circular motion leaving a glistening trail of dark oblivion in its wake.

He is so caught up in the movements, the moment, that he loses track of time.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been at it. He steps back from the towering canvas. By now covered in thick, criss-crossing black lines that curl and twine around one another. His hands and legs are trembling, he feels the sweat beading on his temple, this is it, he knows he needs to make the final mark, but how, and where?

He notices a tiny area up there in the top corner.

Dragging his ladder, still gripping the loaded brush in his other hand, he positions it in front of the painting. He
climbs the first three rungs, reaches his brush up, hovering it over the vacant area. The sweat now stinging his eyes, he closes them. With A blind twitch of his wrist he makes contact with the canvas. He stays there, not willing to open his eyes, not willing to move.

A deep reverberation rumbles throughout the studio, shaking his easels and rattling the wooden frames of pre-stretched canvases. He opens his eyes, gripping the ladder to save himself from falling. He doesn’t quite believe what he’s seeing. The black, painted marks are moving, squirming and uncoiling before him. The artist steps down from his ladder.

Sparks of thin electrical webbing shimmer and crackle across the canvas.

His lighter spasms on the table next to him, besides the fluttering stack of papers. The black brush strokes bleed onto the floor and snake their way towards him. He steps backwards until he presses himself against the cold glass of the window. The painting has become a dark, writhing portal of leathery tentacles reaching into this world from some nightmare world beyond.

Looking down, eyes wide at the black tendrils reaching now for his paint speckled boots.

//T E N E T , and why it’s amazing.

[Spoiler Alert]

Dammit Chris! You son of a bitch, you did it again!

Pardon my french.

I don’t know about you but I thought TeneT was pretty incredible. I know it was a disappointment for a lot of folks but I think that’s because they were expecting some mindless, Hollywood, summer blockbuster but instead they got a cerebral, instant cult classic.

As you might tell I have a fondness for words and I especially enjoy a little word play now and again. I think this might be one of the many reasons I love this movie. Now, I don’t know which came first to Mr Nolan; the title or the story, but what I love is the idea of using the title to essentially structure a story. If you have watched the movie then you will know what I’m talking about, the inversion of time and how this is illustrated by the use of a palindrome ( a word spelt the same backwards as well as forwards).

This movie is just superb on so many levels. It is difficult to understand after only one viewing, but this is not a bad thing, in fact it might just be the best thing about this movie. I am a bit of a film fan and whenever I watch a film I’ll remember it for a long time and will only watch it again after the memory of that first viewing has faded.

Not TeneT.

I had to re-watch this film about four times in one week, each time understanding a little bit more.

I think the major issue the majority of the critics had in regards to this movie is it wasn’t explicitly an entertaining movie, it also made you think, and I guess some people don’t like to think when they go to the movies. There was no barrage of CGI effects culminating in some epic final scene that ties the story in a nice bow, as is expected in most Hollywood blockbusters. No, the spectacle of this movie wasn’t flashy, seizure inducing special effects, it was the lingering questions and ideas that the movie was built from and raised.

With TeneT it was also about the negative space of the movie, like in a painting or drawing how the empty space around an object helps to define it. What I mean is how the audience had to fill in some of the blanks after the final reveal that the Protagonist and Neil have been performing one big temporal pincer movement (watch the movie, I don’t even know how to begin to explain) with Neil apparently moving backwards from the future and the protagonist beginning his journey as part of the shadowy organisation TENET from the outset of the movie.

Much how Mr Nolan did with the ending of Inception he gave his audience the possibility of being apart of the narrative, a way for each person to make the movie what they want by raising the question, Is Cobb in a dream? You decide, yes or no, there is no wrong answer, it’s up to you.

In regards to TeneT, some of the questions that were sparked in my mind were: What do the Protagonist and Neil get up to in the future? How do the both of them meet?  How does the Protagonist recruit Neil? Is Neil really Max, Kat’s son, but older and from the future?Who are the unknown enemies from the future wanting to invert time? When did ‘The War’ happen between the normal time and inverted time forces, the one in which they are finding all the remnants of? Is there a rogues gallery of bond like villains that they go up against in the coming years? There are just so many questions. A part of me hopes there are no sequels or prequels made, but then if they are made by Chris, Mr Nolan sorry, then I might not mind.

I love unanswered questions, it’s maddening sometimes, but it’s also great. I aim for this ambiguity and openness in my own stories. I personally feel it gives the reader (or audience/viewer) an added bonus of feeling like they can help to finish the story by deciding their own interpretation, it raises discussions and debate. It gets people thinking and talking and that shouldn’t be a bad thing, should it?

//Flash fiction : MACHO

His voice is raised a little more, he says, “Ten more reps bro! You’re killing it!”. The instructor’s crotch is right near my head, I can almost see up his shorts.

I do the ten reps. The instructor, he says, “Bro, I think you can beast this, gimme one more set”. He’s leaning over me and his tiny gold chain with a cross on it dangles above my face.

After I’m done with the set the instructor helps me put the barbell back, his hand strokes against mine. I sit up and dab the sweat on my face with my towel. I catch people looking over in our direction, when they see me seeing them, they look away. 

“Man, you’re a machine”, he says. Yeah, a machine, but I know he really means a “Freak“. The instructors arms aren’t as big as mine but he has better definition on his forearms, he has beautiful ravines between his muscles. When I stand up the instructor is a whole head shorter than me.

“Chicks must be throwing themselves at you”, he says, looking up at me. Yeah they throw themselves at me. Truth is, most women when they get up close, they’re a little intimidated by my size. Most women, they’re attracted to the idea of me. In the animal kingdom most females are attracted to the strongest males, it’s about survival, nothing more.

I tell him I think I’m done for today, that I’m gonna head for the showers. He says, “Yeah of course bro…”, he looks around to make sure everyone is watching us. Which they are, which they always do. I’m the guy that everyone wants to be, big, broad and bulging.

“…see you next week bro”, he grabs my hand and pulls me in for a slap on the back, like we actually are bros except he can’t reach his arm all the way round me so he just slaps my shoulder a few times, he presses his body against mine making my shirt stick to my sweaty body.     

Whilst I’m walking away he shoots me with his finger and makes a clicking sound, I don’t get it. Is it supposed to mean something?

I shower and get changed.

I’m walking across the car park carrying my gym bag when a trio of housewives, cougars in yoga pants pass me.

“Hiiiii…”, they all sing in unison, waving, carrying their mats under their other arm, puffing out their chests and doing that thing they do; meticulously placing one foot in front of the other so their butts swing from side to side like some kind of mating ritual designed to get my attention.

In the animal kingdom it’s mostly males who do most of the pageantry to attract a mate. I saw a documentary about birds in the rainforest, them jumping around and flashing their feathers, saying look at me, look at me.

I nod and curl my lips, forcing a smile.

I get to my pick-up and chuck the bag on the passenger seat. 

My body aches. I just sit there soaking in the soreness. I can see the instructor through the window of the gym. He’s helping to stretch out one of the cougars, pressing his body against hers. The others just stand around watching, waiting for their turn.

It trickles down my cheek, over my lip and I taste the salt. I start taking short, rapid breaths, the salty water and snot starts pouring out of my face. Why am I so weak?

I start wailing, like really moaning. I’m happy I paid the extra for the tinted windows. I wipe my arm under my nose and there’s a long shiny snail trail from my wrist to my elbow. Seeing it glisten I think to myself; I need to work on my forearms. I’m gritting my teeth so much I’m afraid I might break them.

I don’t know after how long but I start to calm down. I reach for the box of tissues in the glove box and dry my eyes. I take a look in the rear-view and my eyes are all red and puffy. The instructor is standing in some Yoga pose and the cougars are copying him as best they can.

“I love you”, I say softly.

On the way home I buy a box of donuts, glazed ones, the ones with all the coloured sprinkles on top. It’s ok, I’ll work it off tomorrow at the gym I tell myself.